The other day my daughter came home from school talking about
a Valentine fund raiser. The school is selling heart shaped
brownies for the children to send their special friends. They
can even send them anonymously.
Everyone she said was trying to buddy up to make sure to get
a brownie. I know this is not nice to presume, but what if your
child doesn't get a brownie, what if they don't find a buddy?
Most of us can remember times when we were left out. Maybe
everyone else paired off for a dance and we never
got a date. Luckily a brownie is easier to produce than a date.
It's also easier to use in learning to love and appreciate yourself.
One event was very special to me. I won a small award,
not a Nobel prize or anything grand on a world scale, but I wanted flowers.
Now my husband is a nice sort of guy, and he would have bought
me flowers if I told him I wanted them, or
I could have sulked until he read
my mind. Get real.
I did something very innovative for me. I bought myself flowers.
I didn't spend a lot, just a small bouquet to tell me that I appreciated
me. I liked me and I was proud of what I had done. Those flowers
felt good. Every time I looked at them I felt good. Now when I
think back to that award, what I remember most was that I learned
to give myself flowers.
I keep hearing ads for Valentine's Day and every
time I do I think about those flowers. I think about all the
Valentine's Days I rushed to empty mailboxes and sat alone
feeling left out of the world. Valentine's day can be the most
unhappy holiday of the year, and I love holidays. On Valentine's Day
we all put our emotional feel goods in someone else's lap. We are supposed to wait to be told how wonderful and loved we are
I think it's okay to tell the kids that when that brownie cart
comes around buy themselves
a Valentine. If you sit around waiting for someone else to tell
you how special you are you may wait a long time. I spent more
Valentine's Days wishing for Valentines than getting them. If
your child learns to do nice things for themselves they won't
spend their life waiting. They will certainly feel a lot
better eating a brownie they provided for themselves than sitting around watching everyone
else eat theirs.
Those flowers I bought myself were some
of the best I ever got, because I learned to appreciate myself. Think of the special things you can do for yourself. If you have a special someone, that is a bonus. But, the only person who stays with us from the time we are born until the day we die is our own self. Shouldn't we appreciate that special person too.
I had visitors sign the guestbook by telling about the special things they do to care for and appreciate themselves. I feel good when I read all the wonderful things they wrote.