COM 340: Television Criticism

 

Dialogue

UPDATED : 02/19/2002  

Basics:

A.    Writing dialogue for television and film is the "art of less"  -- Don't talk about it, SHOW it.

B.    Function of Dialogue:   Dialogue reveals the character and advances the plot.  In television sitcoms, it is particularly important because the dialogue drives the plot.  When there is not a lot of action, it is the dialogue which drives the story.  So action shows like Alias will have less dialogue than E.R. or Everybody Loves Raymond.

C.   Writing Dialogue:

D.   Dialogue operates on TWO levels

Dialogue is one of four tools at a writer's disposal when putting a script together:

1.   Dialogue

2.   Locales:  Interesting and unique locations make us want to watch rather than just listen.  Some scenes are just "talky" and need something more -- like a good locale-- to make them interesting.  (Part of the fun of watching "Trials and Tribbilations" or ( Scotty's episode in TNG)  is seeing the Enterprise set recreated.) 

3.   Narrative:  (a type of diaglogue)  Use in Magnum P.I.  and in Star Trek when you hear "Captain's log, star date....." (Also used in the The Wonder Years, Doogie Howser, X-Files, Frazier, Outer Limits, Twilight Zone _____________________)

Narrative may be in the script, but not heard.  It may simply describe the  a look into someone's refrigerator-- that important visual detail  is important to characterization.

 

4.  The Scene:  

Problems Writing Dialogue:

1.    Too Head-On:  Too obvious, insulting to viewer.    "I'm so glad to see you; you're wonderful; I love you...."

2.    Too Choppy:  The dialogue doesn't flow naturally.  We don't believe the people are actually talking to each other. "I'm hungry." "Me too."  "Wanna eat?"  "Okay"  "Where do you want to go?"  "I don't know" etc.  

3.    Too Repetitious.    Redundant and boring.  People don't talk that way.   "I'm hungry."  "I'm hungry too."  "If we're both hungry we ought to eat."  "Where do you like to go when you're hungry?"  "When I'm really hungry, I like O'Charlie's." etc.  

4.    Too Long:   The speech goes on and on....

5.    Too Similar:  The characters have to sound different.  Not only does their speech become redundant, the characters themselves seem redundant.  Dialogue as we mentioned earlier, has to help differentiate characters by showing psychological, personality or background differences.  Those differences imply conflicts to come.

6.    Too Stilted:  Sounds like it should be read not spoken.....like reading from the newspaper or magazine.  Real people don't talk that way.  (Difference between writing for broadcast and print)

7.     To Preachy:   related to too "head-on", too stilted and too long.  The speech is formal, philosophical.  At worst, the character becomes a mouth-piece for the writer or producer.  

8.     To Introspective:   The character is a lone and speaks out loud.  That's not necessarily a problem since we all do that, but in this case, it sounds phoney....  "Oh, how I long to be with him......."  

9.     To Inconsistent:  Characters should use the same phraseology, terms, etc. throughout.  

10.   Too Unbelievable:    Doesn't sound real for any number of reasons.  Test: Read the dialogue aloud?  Does it sound like real people are speaking? 

11.    Avoid Handles:  Those are the phrases like, "Look, if you.." "Well,...., You know, etc."  Use only when necessary to create a sense of reality or transition.. (Like "however, if you do that...")

 

How do you write good dialogue?

1.     Vernacular Speech:  refers to native speech patterns

Speech patterns include

All of those things reflect the character of the person speaking.  Writers must visit locales, spend time with people who do the things their characters do....If you're writing about carpenters, you'd better spend some time on a job to understand what their day is like, the terms they use, the problems they face.

2.    Economy:  

In announcing I use an exercise where I tape a regular conversation we have and then play it back.  You can do the same thing by listening to Letterman or Leno....There are a lot repeated words, phrases, incomplete sentences....Sometimes we include things in the conversation that don't mean much or may have very little interest to the people listening....But we're thinking off the top of our heads, so that's understandable.  

In scriptwriting, that kind of lack of focus is unacceptable.  Remember: TIME IS MONEY.  You have limited time in TV show or in a film to communicate the necessary information.  Unnecessary words = wasted time = wasted money.

Alan Armer in his book, Writing the Screenplay, addresses this issue very well.  He writes:  "Effective dialog usually is lean."

But how do writers achieve that?  There are some obstacles:

How do you get past the obstacles?

            When Kirk says:   "I do not take ______ lightly, Mr. ___; It's YOU I take lightly.

(For more illustrations see p. 118-123 for examples from two versions of Citizen Kane)

3.  Simplicity:  Write as people speak

We don't usually use words like "hyptheticodeductive methodology" in our regular speech.  Our vocabulary is one which is natural for us and those we address .  We're not trying to impress each other with our vocabularies.

Even professional people, though they may use jargon or profession-specific words in their business environment, will use fairly simple words and phrases in conversation outside of the workplace.

 

4.  Invisibility:  The words don't distract from the rest of the work.

Remember on the first day, we talked about unity, variety, balance, coherence, contrast and emphasis.  Those principles are at work here.  Unity means that anything must  contribute to the theme ; anything which does not or which distracts from it must be eliminated.  That goes for dialogue (as well as costuming, makeup, characters, etc.)

Let me offer an example:  When women put on make-up, we want you to see US, not our makeup.  If you look at our make-up, we've done it wrong.  It's supposed to make US look better, not draw attention to itself.  If it does that, it defeats its purpose.  Same thing with a dress.  A dress is supposed to make people notice YOU, not it.  If people are looking at the dress and missing YOU, it's all wrong.  (Does anyone remember anything about what Jennifer Lopez said or did or looked like at the Grammy awards the night she wore the green dress?  No.  The DRESS got the attention and diminished her in the process.)

Same thing with dialogue.  If you're distracted from the plot progression, the acting, the character because the line you just heard was so amazing, the line is NOT serving its purpose.  Dialogue should never point to the WRITER -- "Look at how brilliant I am"

5.  Progression:  Must move the story forward in a dramatic way

This will mean more to you after we've discussed plot.  The dialogue must move the plot -- narrative --- story line--- forward in a logical, dramatic way in terms of content.

In terms of structure, that means you always move from least dramatic-- to most dramatic.

Take Kirk's line --    "You have taken this project far too lightly..."

    Kirk:  "On the contrary sir, it is YOU, I take lightly.

Or in the mess hall when Kirk says, "My chicken sandwich and coffee...This is my chicken sandwich and coffee?" and then Scotty comes in an says they're the machinery, and the air vents.  What would the effect have been if the order had been reversed....

Oh, they're in the machinery AND my chicken sandwich and coffee?

 

6.   Write for the ear:   Read lines aloud. Do they flow?  Is there a rhythm?   Every characters should have his or her own rhythmic pattern in the way the words flow.   Begin to notice how those exist for the actors in the program you are studying. Contrast Picard's rhythm, with that of Worf, Data, Riker, or Deanna.  They're all very different...not just in the way the actors deliver the lines but in the way the lines themselves flow.

 

7.   Use Playbacks:  These are repetitions of pieces of dialogue, words, phrases, because they "play back" to previous events/lines in the script?  In comedy they are known as running gags

Like the line "Play it again, Sam" or "Here's looking at you, kid."  in Casablanca, emotional attachments occur as the line is used throughout the story, until by the end, the line has great emotional meaning. 

Can you think of some other examples:  (May the Force Be With You,"____________________________ )

In comedy, they are used for laughs, to heighten the humor..

Give some examples from "The Trouble with Tribbles.":

   Quatro-triticale; "It was a Russian invention" ; Spock provides the exact number of tribbles...; There must be thousands of them; Kirk: Hundreds of thousands;  Spock...One million eight hundred......

 

8.  Punctuating with Tag Lines or Business:   

Final payoff that either signifies completion or creates a surprise twist in the action 

Kirk:  Would somebody please close that door?  (as tribbles fall on him)

In Final Scene:  Kirk takes tribble to Baris,  "Mr Barris, they like you.  We'll there's no accounting for taste."  

                        They don't like you Mr. Darvin...."

                        Barris: Klingon.!   

                        Kirk:  I wonder what star fleet command will say about that?..."

 

The ultimate one :    "Where they'll be no tribble at all"

Tags can also be "business"  -- as with Kirk carrying a tribble around as much as he did.... Or starting to sit in his chair and stopping until he checked for tribbles. 

9.    Make the Audience Work:  

This began in radio because obviously, the audience couldn't see what was going on.  And while you don't want to over do the radio technique by talking when you could be showing, radio taught us that people are move invested emotionally in stories when they have to think about them and when everything is laid right out for them.

Almer illustrates that point with a scene from Pretty Woman in which Richard Gere is about to send Julie Roberts back to the streets talking with the hotel manager about the ruby necklace which was loaned to him.  The manager says, "It must be difficult to part with something so beautiful.  The audience know that he's not just talking about a necklace.

Dialogue which lays things out too much is called  on the nose and it not considered good writing.

10.    Inject Conflict:  One of the reasons dialogue exists is to express conflict, so obviously this is something the dialogue should do.

11.  Avoid cliches:  The over-used lines and phrases that call attention to themselves and don't really do the job well anyway... examples:

Resources:

 

Copyright, 2002

Dr. Janet McMullen

University of North Alabama

 

 

 

 

 Copyright, 2002 Janet McMullen

Email Dr. Mc: jmcmulle@unanov.una.edu 

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