Lee was: the Incarnation !
Answered on: 29 Oct 2003
The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Oh Oracle most wise, > > Why won't my team leader talk to me? >
And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } I could tell you, of course, but sometimes a voyage of self-discovery } is better for your psyche. Try this quiz. } } *** Why won't my team leader talk to me? *** } } 1) Did you shower this morning? } } a) Yes. } b) No. } c) Not since I clawed my way out of the ground. } } If a, proceed to the next question. If b, perhaps you have a } personal hygiene issue. Do people tend to make excuses to get away } from you and/or stop breathing around you? If so, go take a long } shower, scrub well, and use some deodorant for crying out loud! If } c, you are a zombie. People will flee in terror wherever you go, } not just your team leader. I'm afraid you'll have to stick with with } corresponding stricly via the Internet with people that don't know } you died. } } 2) Look around your place of business. What do you see? } } a) Nothing unusual. } b) Everyone and their stuff is gone. } c) Smoke and flames. } } If a, proceed to the next question. If b, your company has gone } out of business or moved. If they didn't tell you, perhaps your } pink slip got lost in the mail. If c, your building is on fire. } Find the nearest exit and use it. Proceed to your designated } gathering place so your team leader can check your name off. (He } might have a few choice words for you as well.) } } 3) Ask some co-workers if your team leader is on vacation. What do } they say? } } a) No. } b) Yes. } } If a, proceed to the next question. If b, find out who's supposed } to fill in for him. If it's you, either wait for him to return or } sit down and discuss the matter with yourself, depending on how } urgent it is. } } 4) Is your team leader awake? } } a) Yes, I think so. } b) No. } } If a, proceed to the next question. If b, decide whether your } career is worth waking him up. } } 5) Did you recently get new eyewear? } } a) No. } b) Yes. } } If a, proceed to the next question. If b, that's not your team } leader you're trying to talk to, it's a plant. Go discuss your new } lenses at the place of purchase, but let someone else drive you } there. } } 6) Is your team leader holding his hands over his ears and shouting, } "la, la, la I can't hear you"? } } a) No. } b) Yes. } } If a, proceed to the next question. If b, he's finally had a mental } breakdown. Call an ambuluance. } } 7) Did you recently sleep with your team leader's wife? } } b) Yes. } a) No. } } If a, he's just found out and is seething with rage. He's about to } say a hell of a lot of things to you while he pummels you into a } blob of goo. Get out while you can. If b, you probably just said } something horribly stupid and he's trying to be tactful and not } laugh in your face. Give me a few moments and he'll recover. }