And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} It sounds like he's already burned out whatever few neurons he had
} dedicated to personal safety, so it may be an impossible task.  But
} don't be sad.  Let's take a look at . . .
} 
}     THE TOP 10 WAYS YOUR UNCLE CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE SITUATION
}     --------------------------------------------------------------
} 
} 10.  Offer his services to a local propane company to verify returned
}      tanks are empty.
} 
}  9.  Buy some late night airtime for an infomercial on his great new
}      hair styling product.  That dark, straight back, and crispy look
}      is *so* in this year.
} 
}  8.  Join the circus and become performer.  He can be both the
}      firebreather and the human cannonball . . . simultaneously!
} 
}  7.  Send the video in to America's Funniest Home Videos and win.
} 
}  6.  Try founding a new 12-step program called Grass Grillers
}      Anonymous.
} 
}  5.  Get a job as stunt double for the Cheech & Chong reunion movie.
} 
}  4.  Go on Jerry Springer and bask in his 15 minutes of fame.
} 
}  3.  Move to Paris, find a patron with more money than they know what
}      to do with, and become a "performance artist."
} 
}  2.  Submit it as part of his portfolio for the job of Fear Factor
}      writer.
} 
}  1.  Become a spokesman for a leading asbestos underwear manufacturer.
}     ("They're not just for Usenet any more!")